Hi Reader 👋🏻

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Do you mind if we talk a bit about decision-making today?

Specifically, the art of saying "no".

For many of us, this is a severely neglected skill. It's something that takes a long-term practice of patience, gentleness, and self-trust to develop.

We default to saying "yes" to everything. We're surrounded by a culture that preaches doing more, harder, faster, better.

Going against this is a gem.

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Taking Burnout Seriously

In the specific case of burnout, it’s not a sign that you need to find a better time management hack.

It’s a signal that you’ve taken on too much, and the only way forward is to step back.

The difficult truth is that burnout doesn’t leave you a choice. You are forced to reduce your work and life responsibilities, whether you like it or not.

This feels akin to failure.

Because it also means we have to leave our creative projects and our passions. These things are important to us, which means they come with high expectations.

High expectations are no good for the burned-out brain. They are very heavy 🧱

(On the other hand, creative projects with *no* expectations are pretty good for burnout!)

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The Ego Trap of Productivity

We’ve been conditioned to tie our self-worth to our productivity, so letting go of responsibilities physically hurts.

You worry that you'll burden others by depending on them when you need support. (Even though we're a social species... supporting each other is what we're supposed to do!)

We live in a culture that celebrates (even glorifies) busy-ness.

Once you fully see this, it's pretty hard to un-see.

Everyone around you measures their worth by what they do or achieve, and they'll project this onto you too 😣

We can help our friends and our community by reminding them that they are already valuable (and it doesn't effing matter how productive they are).

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Making Decisions From Within

The journey of learning to say "no" is also a journey of discovering our personal values and needs.

You get to ask questions like "what's most important to me?" and "what impact do I want to make?" and "what puts me in that wonderful ~flow~ state?"

(And also - "is this project I'm being offered actually paying me enough to be worth it?")

You've got much less room for those things that you feel you "should" be doing (but aren't getting you anywhere).

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Pareto’s Principle: Do Less, Achieve More

This is where Pareto’s principle (also known as the 80/20 rule) applies. (I'm sure it's been done to death at this point)

The principle states that 80% of your results come from just 20% of your efforts. (Look it up if you're unfamiliar!)

In other words, not everything you do has equal impact. Some tasks, projects, or commitments will drive most of your progress, while others will drain your energy without much reward.

By focusing on the 20% of tasks that make the biggest difference, you reclaim your time, your creativity, and your peace of mind.

Figuring out what that 20% actually *IS* though... can be quite tricky.

The aforementioned ego trap comes back and tells us we shouldn't let go of things because we're "supposed to be doing everything, all the time!!!!"

(Leonie Dawson has a course called "Work Less, Earn More*" which I highly recommend. It's ideal for looking at the bigger picture of your income and figuring out where it's actually coming from. And then zoning in on those specific things 👌🏻) (*aff. link)

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How to Say No with Confidence

Saying no feels scary, whether you're saying it to yourself or to someone else. That's why so many people don't do it.

You can always:

1. Be Honest: Say “I don’t have the capacity for this right now.” (You don't need to prove it or force things into your schedule)
2. Offer Alternatives: “I can’t take this on, but [someone else] might be a great fit.” Help out your network of creative buddies!
3. Delay: “I’m focusing on other priorities right now, but I’d love to revisit this in the future.” (But don't make everything a problem for future you 😅)
4. Wean off gradually: "I'm going to be doing less of this work so I have more time to nurture a different thing"

Every time you say no to something that doesn’t match your priorities, you’re saying yes to yourself.

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Saying no isn’t easy, especially when it means confronting that inner voice that wants validation through busy-ness.

But protecting your energy allows you to show up fully for the things that truly matter.

What’s one thing you can say no to this week? Hit reply and let me know, I’d love to hear from you.

I'm saying no to forcing myself to do "high energy" tasks when I don't have the energy for them. I'll choose some low-energy tasks instead!

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Peace ✌🏻

Damon

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🌱 Stuff I'm Doing Recently 🌱

February week #2

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Find me on: Instagram | TikTok​

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